Monday, November 9, 2009

Dear Caitlin

Did...did you just call me a creeper? Because I think messaging me using Nick's Facebook account is a really creeper thing to do. Just saying. And I really would appreciate it if you didn't do that again. I don't like talking to strangers. I don't know you. And given the circumstances, I'm pretty sure this is going to get way out of hand.

I don't even know what I did! Because what you accuse me of isn't really true. Either that or you're a bit paranoid.

That message you saw wasn't me trying to "steal your 'man'" or anything. It was me saying, "Hey. Are we actually going to try being friends like you said you wanted to? Or am I allowed to not have to care?" You can't be serious. Can you? Oh good God. I think you are.

You oblivious bimbo.

"Commenting his statuses, pictures, etc."

I clearly do not know what you're talking about. Because I the last time I commented on a status of his, it was something along the lines of, "Hey you spelled an elementary word wrong."

Obviously I want him in the sack. You can see it in the way I criticize his grammar and spelling.

So do me a favor. Get the hell off my back about insignificant things. I've been in a pissy mood and you're not helping.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Dear McNamara fans and students

(This is in response to the wall of a recently deleted event.

Just because you're really excited about the game does not mean that you have the right to call the students of DeMatha "faggots." It's football. It's a game. Contrary to what you seem to think, HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL DOES NOT SPELL LIFE OR DEATH.

You can't even talk shit. DeMatha has taken home the WCAC trophy six years in a row. And we're going for a seventh. And thanks to you guys, if they win that seventh title, it'll be well deserved.

Now I am totally aware that DeMatha can be ass holes too. I'm friends with a lot of them. But seriously. Neither of you should be acting like this.

Why in the world are you being so arrogant about this? It's unsportsmanlike. At DeMatha, they teach that their students should be "Gentlemen and Scholars." Take a page from them. Oh I've seen the wall. You need to tone it down. Most of them are saying how we'll meet you on the field. And how do you retort?

"Enter Dematha as a Stag, graduate from dematha as a FAG."

"time do have a good old fashion fag drag.........or gay beatdown.........or pipecleaner punishing........lets beat up some fags from dematha is what im getting at"

That's real mature. These are quotes that I ripped directly off the event wall. It's ridiculous, isn't it?

How would you feel if we turned it around.

"Those Mustang fag shits are gonna take it up the ass."

Yeah. Doesn't feel good does it?

And let's look at the stats. You have never made it to the championships, to my knowledge, in the past dedicated. DeMatha has been in almost every championship game since it started. (Don't quote me. I just sort of remember this from the programs of the last two games.) The two highest ranked Catholic high school football teams in the area (again don't quote me but I'm pretty sure) are Good Counsel and DEMATHA.

Now let's get back to the problem at hand:
You are being ass holes about a stupid little game. Maybe I'm saying this because I've never taken much of an interest in high school sports except for the championships. Or maybe I'm just more level headed than the rest of you. So read this and read this carefully.


Yes. I said that the students of DeMatha are your brothers, friends, and equals. Now excuse me if I get religious here. But we're part of a Catholic school system. Most of us are Catholic, or at least some form of Christian. The people in our world are our family. They are our brothers and sisters. Yes. I am aware that many people fail to realize this. There are wars and shit happening all around us. But do you really have to start a conflict about a sport? I think you're overreacting.

So just stop it. If your so fucking fantastic, prove it on the field.

I'm sorry if you're a BMHS fan and/or student and you haven't done anything wrong and haven't badmouthed people. know what's going on. This only applies to the crazies.

Monday, November 2, 2009

To Marianne Camille Clouet

To all my readers, I've been trying to get this chick out of a Facebook group my friends started. We've had many arguments. Please, if you have a Facebook, join this group and read the wall posts. And if you agree with me, feel free to reply to her and tell her how and why she's wrong. Tell her why you agree with me. Let's make her see the light? Or just support us. It's called "Break the Cycle. Stop Criticizing Your Body."

Oh and Vivi, if you want you can post this wherever you want.

Okay look. I understand. You really think you're hot shit. Well you are. Not the hot part. Just the part about the shit. You see, people who feel the need that they have to put others down just to make themselves look good are nothing but piles of manure. Did you seriously join a group for the soul purpose of calling people fat? Really? That is one of the most pathetic things I have ever heard. And I have heard very pathetic things in my life.

You are a bitch. You are the kind of person that no one will ever truly love, because you have nothing to offer the world, other than shallow, empty remarks and motionless heap to leave in the morning. You are nothing and that's all you will become. You better not have any dreams of marriage or anything like that. Because really all it'll be is living with a fuck buddy. There is no substance in you. Just an empty heart.

In the words of Mike Skinner, "I came to this world with nothing. And I leave with nothing but love. Everything else is just borrowed."

What the hell does that mean? It means that whatever you have now, your looks, your clothes, your money, everything, does not matter. It's the person, not the possessions. So you can take your supposed looks and pounds of make up, and fancy clothes and just shove it all. In due time, it will all end. Your skin will wrinkle. Your make up will settle into your skin and cause break outs, your fancy clothes will no longer fit. And who will have the impact on life? Certainly not you.

You're ridiculous. Absolutely absurd. You think you're better than me? Because I have more of a mid section than you? You stole your profile picture from a Target picture frame. You're nothing now. For all we know, you can just essentially be hating yourself. It's a thought. It explains a lot. It's still pretty pathetic.

So take a tip. If you really think you're so disgusting, then do something about it. And if you're not, then open your arrogant eye holes. The world is never the way we want it to be.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Dear Gerry

I really miss you. I say that to all my friends that I never see anymore. Come back home! We need to record that amazing cover of Britney Spears's "Hit Me Baby One More Time."

Anyway what I really wanted to say to you is something that actually doesn't matter much anymore. This mattered in the beginning of last year though.

This is the only part of this letter that will stand for eternity: THANK YOU. I love how close we got last year. And last year's homecoming with you was spectacular. The best homecoming ever, in fact. I wish we could still hang out. But Boston is such a long ways away.

The thing is, last year I was a total wreck. I was moody and depressed and spiteful and I listened to the Smiths a lot. Obviously someone who listens to the Smiths has some emotional disturbances. But over a few months, I developed feelings for you. Yep. A crush. "Developed feelings" just sounds nicer and more romantic. And I'm pretty sure you had feelings for me? I'm guessing. I'm really bad at guessing these kinds of things though. For all I know, it could have just been my mind making up for the lack of affection that I was experiencing.

But I did learn from this experience. I learned to take some fucking chances once in a while. And don't wait for someone else to make the first move. So thanks for everything, Gerry. Good luck in Boston.

Dear former classmates.

Gee. Thanks for excitedly greeting Lindy and Jack at homecoming. That was really thoughtful of you all. I really could feel the love radiating from the hugs I didn't receive. So thanks. That. That right there is the precise reason why I never hang out with you guys. You all suck. That's all I can say.

Dear Lindy

We've been friends for quite some time, yes? Well quite obviously. We went to all of elementary school together! Anyway here are some things I'd like to tell you.

I've always been jealous of you. You're so pretty, and you're so tall, and you have a slammin figure. And at homecoming I felt really self conscious in my dress that was too small and my regret for going as I sat next to you. It didn't help that all the guys started talking to you. Yes, I am wonderfully taken. But it's always nice to know that guys find me attractive still.

Dear Nick

Oh hey there. I know you're leaving for boot camp soon. So I might as well get this out. I'm probably going to send this link to Kirsten to send to you anyway.

You are seriously one of the most pretentious jackasses I have ever had the displeasure of knowing. No one cares that you listen to ska and play bass and rule at video games and have a girlfriend and were in Harmonics and did a ton of sports.

I listen to ska too and I know it's cool within that subculture to wear checkered patterns. It's like what plaid is for punk rock. But really you look ridiculous sometimes. And about the bass? I've never really heard you play. Ever. If you're going to brag about playing an instrument, at least prove that you can in fact play. At least when I say I play guitar, I follow it up with "I probably suck though." If you suck, no one is going to throw bottles at you or some shit. You like video games? Awesome. So do a ton of people. This is irrelevant. It doesn't make you quirky or ironic in any sort of cool manner. It just means you blew over $200 on a video game that you won't play for the entire time you're getting your pussy kicked in at boot camp. No one cares that you care more about your girlfriend than your actual friends. We always have more fun without you. Also, you can't sing worth shit. Even when I was going out with you I thought your voice was horrible. I just haven't told you that. AND WHO CARES IF YOU'VE DONE HOWEVER MANY SPORTS?! You were on JV wrestling for how many years? Oh yeah, two. You had no dedication, thus making your claim to total awesomeness null and void.

Those are just some things that bothered me during the whole two years we were together. And I thought you should know that.

What else shall we touch on? Oh yes. Your wanting to remain friends. So what are we now? Oh yes. NOT FRIENDS. I remember you were so adamant on that. Oh I tried. But you didn't. So don't even try to think we are. You always try to pull that when we happen to be in the same place. And there's a reason I don't give you hugs or say hi or anything. So stop trying to be all buddy buddy. It isn't cute.

I don't know where I'm going with this. So I guess I'll just finish up with the last thought that came to mind. What the hell was I thinking with you? Now that I have someone...extremely superior to you, I now realize how shitty a boyfriend you were. I would much rather have someone who tells me he loves every day, says I'm beautiful constantly, and really supports me. And that was never you.