Saturday, June 5, 2010

Dear Nick, Justin, Colleen, and Cynthia

I feel so amalgamated from you guys. Like...Well It's like eighth grade all over again. No one invited me to anything, I found out about everything after the fact. I had no real friends (except for maybe Jack and Lindy). This really does feel like part two. If it weren't for my other friends, my college friends, I probably would have just reverted back to my old ways. Black, darkness, lots of From First to Last and the Used. I was a total emo kid. I guess you guys wouldn't have known that entirely.

It's happening again.

Dear Jack

I find it really awkward hanging out with you. You and Izzy...It's weird for me. I love you guys. Separately.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Dear Chase (again)

I've figured it out...kind of.

It's undeniable that I...well...I sort of like you. In that way. Crazy. I know, right? Five years of knowing you and I just now start to get these feelings. But then again, I haven't ruled out that whole rebound thing. And I hope to God that isn't the case.

There are three things I can do about this:
1) I can do nothing.
2) I can just go for it and hope for the best.
3) I can flirt and hint and hope you get the picture.

And this juncture, I think it's best to go with the third option. But in case you find this, which you probably don't since this isn't really advertised, I figured I should spill my heart out right here, right now.

You're adorable. Delightfully awkward. And hilarious. And you make me smile. I didn't even smile much at my graduation! And seeing you stopped me from being sad. I'm friends with all these guys. And you're just standing out from everyone else.

For a while now, I've been thinking about you. I know, that sounds extremely creepy. But I have. I can't help but wonder whether I'm just being stupid and naive or if these feelings are 100% genuine. I can't help but wonder what could happen between us. Worst of all, I've been weighing the pros and cons of any possible future.

I'm confused, and nervous, and somehow happy. It's all got me feeling vulnerable. So please, Chase. If you ever see this, help me figure this stuff out,