We've been friends for quite some time, yes? Well quite obviously. We went to all of elementary school together! Anyway here are some things I'd like to tell you.
I've always been jealous of you. You're so pretty, and you're so tall, and you have a slammin figure. And at homecoming I felt really self conscious in my dress that was too small and my regret for going as I sat next to you. It didn't help that all the guys started talking to you. Yes, I am wonderfully taken. But it's always nice to know that guys find me attractive still.